You’ll Have To Pry This Keyboard… From My Cold Dead Hands!


Online I am horrible,
downright deplorable,
even the most despicable would agree;

Sarcasm disguised as wit,
alt-facts I misuse or omit,
when I engage in modern online society.

My erudition is execrable,
my trolling is incorrigible,
every retweet authenticates my blatant lies.

Flame wars lit just for kicks,
the gullible fall for my tricks,
as I spin a web of conspiracies you deny.

I scoff at your pathetic principles
Online I am rendered invincible
Even if you block me, ban me, unfollow and unfriend me;

My darkweb avatars untraceable,
my vile comments uneraseable,
I wallow in the perpetuation of shared misery.

Enemy of the deep liberal state,
fueled by self-righteous hate,
my happiness feeds on the grief I fabricate;

I mix sheer malice with my slander,
and please the demagogues who pander
to the barbaric hordes howling at the gate.

If you choose to commence a quarrel,
Regarding my singular lack of morals,
Or my use of gaslighting as a legit debate technique;

Remember that despite my hateful words,
Especially the most specious and absurd,
The echo chamber assures me I’m quite on fleek!

Your arguments are risible,
against my logic indefensible,
protected by the First Amendment you hold dear;

This one truth you are dreading,
my fake news is swiftly spreading,
because I am the reflection of all that you fear.

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